Chapter 38

Previous

Eric and I decide to spend a full month in Louisiana for the holidays and get out of Los Angeles two weeks before Christmas. Ella’s first flight is a bit of a nightmare, but I know it’s because of the pressurization in the cabin. Jason and Amy come to meet us at the airport and bring us a spare car seat we shipped ahead to my parents that is already fitted to Ella. We’re renting a car for the duration of our trip since neither of us wants to be relying on other people to drive us around, especially with the baby.

It’s nice to get off a plane and not have a crowd of photographers waiting for us.

“Lemme see my niece,” Jason says when we find him and Amy at baggage claim.

Her poor little face is bright red from crying during the landing. It’s hard to believe she’s already almost three months old. On the bright side she’s sleeping for five hour stretches at night now, which makes my life so much better. I hand Ella over to my brother while Eric steps up to get our bags off the carousel.

“Oh Sookie she’s so cute,” Amy says.

“Thank you. I can’t believe how big she is already.”

“She’s heavy,” Jase says.

“Oh I know,” I laugh. “She’s up to thirteen pounds already. She’s got Eric’s bone structure.”

“Yeah she does,” Eric says proudly, and rolls one of the suitcases over to me before going back for the other.

Jason passes Ella over to Amy and goes to give Eric a hand. If I’m being perfectly honest I’m surprised Jason and Amy are still together. Not because I don’t like Amy, but because I’m shocked he hasn’t dumped her yet. Maybe my brother has finally found the right one.

“Was the flight okay?” Amy asks.

“Other than Ella freaking out at takeoff and landing, yeah, it was okay. I timed it so that she’d be hungry around the time we took off so she slept for most of the flight.” I’ve got her phantom weight on my chest because of it. I don’t usually hold her for that long. She loves her tummy time on the floor.

“Poor thing,” she says.

“Yeah, but there’s precious little that giving her the boob can’t fix,” I chuckle as Jase and Eric come back with the other bags.

“There’s precious little that giving me the boob can’t fix either,” Eric grins.

I roll my eyes and Jason punches his shoulder.

“That’s my sister, man.”

“It’s okay, Jase. Sometimes giving him the boob causes its own set of problems,” I smirk at Eric.

“Shut it, woman,” Eric says.

“Oooh, there’s a story I want to know,” Amy grins.

“Later,” I say.

“No, no, no, no,” Eric says. “No.”

“That good, huh?” Amy asks.

I nod and grab one of the suitcases to pull behind me. I can feel Eric glaring at me as we walk over to the car rental kiosk. Ella starts fussing and Amy follows me to the bathroom so I can change Ella’s diaper.

“So how’s it going with the knucklehead?” I ask her while unsnapping Ella’s pants.

“It’s… good,” she says.

“Is it really or is it just a long story?”

“It’s not really a long story,” she says. “About a month ago we had a bit of a scare. Things were so great before that, and it just freaked him out. Since then he’s been acting a little distant and I don’t know what to do.”

“Hmmm… that’s a tough one.” I grab a fresh diaper from the diaper bag to swap out for the old one. “It’s probably got him thinking about future stuff that most guys like to think they don’t want until they have it. Eric didn’t want kids and he’s ass backward in love with Ella.”

Ella kicks her legs and makes little noises while I resnap her pants.

“But if he was thinking good things, wouldn’t he want to be closer, not distant?” she asks. “I know he’s always had issues committing to his girlfriends, but I believe him when he says he loves me. I’ve never pressured him for commitment. Now I’m scared that I’m just going to be another girl to him.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what he’s thinking. He never mentioned anything to me when we’ve talked in the last couple of weeks, but maybe he’s just doing the guy thing and thinking if he ignores the problem will go away.” I pull Ella’s pants back up and then turn to wash my hands.

“Wonderful,” she sighs. “I just keep wondering what would have happened if I’d actually been pregnant.”

I frown at her while I dry my hands and say, “I’d like to think Jase wouldn’t freak out and run, but I don’t know. Have you tried talking to him about this?”

“Everytime I try to bring it up he changes the subject and then has to leave for something or other.”

I roll my eyes and pick up my baby. My brother is an idiot.

“That sucks.” I would offer to talk to him for her but it’s not really my place to get involved.

“Maybe I’ll force him to talk to me about it,” she says. “He might end up at your house though.”

“Hopefully not. He should man up and work this shit out with you.”

We walk out of the bathroom just as Eric is signing the paperwork for the rental. Jason turns around when he sees Amy and I want to go kick him for acting like a child.

She sighs, but doesn’t say anything.

“Good to go?” Eric asks.

“Yep. The boss had soggy drawers, but we’re all set now.”

“You know what’s awesome about being here?” Eric asks.

“No paparazzi?” I smile at him.

“Exactly,” he grins. “Ella can finally see what it’s like to go for a walk in the stroller without a blanket over it.”

“That must be rough for you guys,” Amy says.

“Yes and no. We’re kinda used to it, but Ella is entitled to a private life. She didn’t ask for a famous father. Eventually it’ll get out that we have a daughter, but for now we’d like to keep it to ourselves.”

Just to be on the safe side I dressed her in green with stripes and nothing in her hair so if someone does get a picture they won’t know if she’s a she or he’s a he.

“There are times when the paps are assholes, but for the most part they shoot us long lens now. I’m sure they’d love it if we’d remove the blanket, but they don’t ask us to.”

“Is that a good thing?” Jason asks.

“If they shoot us long lens we usually don’t know they’re there, so that’s good. It sucks that we’re still being watched, but it’s better than them being in our faces.”

“You know I heard a rumor…” Jason trails off as we all head outside to where our rental car is being brought up. “I uh… I heard that Dell was the one that tipped off the paparazzi after Ella was born.”

What. The. Fuck.

“What the fuck?” Eric asks.

“I don’t know if it’s true, but I heard Maxine talking about it at Merlotte’s one day at lunchtime and she said she heard from Hoyt’s girlfriend, who is friends with Stephanie, that Dell decided to get back at you by tipping off the paparazzi,” Jason says. “She almost sent the picture you sent to Channing, but he caught her in time and stopped her.”

“Wow,” Eric says. “What a fucking…”

“See you next Tuesday,” I finish for him.

“Yes, that,” he practically growls. “What do we do about it? I don’t want to stop sending Channing pictures because of her.”

“See if he’s got an email address she can’t access,” I suggest.

I’m pretty pissed off myself about this. I know she was angry, but really? What did Ella ever do to her?

“I will.”

Eric gets the car seat strapped into the backseat of the SUV we’ll be riding around in and Jason gets the luggage into the trunk. We didn’t bring presents with us since it would just mean paying extra for baggage when we can just shop here. I hand Ella over to Eric so he can strap her into her seat and then Jason and Amy are on their way. I get in the passenger’s side and Eric gets behind the wheel. We’ve got about a forty-five minute drive to Bon Temps from Shreveport.

“Should we stop for groceries on the way or should we stop at the house to air it out first?” I ask Eric. We’re going to need to get Ella a crib. I’ve been meaning to do that, but I’ve been busy the last few weeks.

“Let’s just go to the house,” he says.

“Okay. Then I can make a list. I shop better when I have a list.”

About ten minutes into the ride Ella starts fussing and that turns into crying and there’s nothing I can do from the front seat to make her happy. I know she’s not tired after the nap she took on the plane and it’s not quite time for her to eat yet.

“Should I pull over so you can get in back with her?” Eric asks.

“No, I’m sure she’ll settle down,” I say.

I hate when she cries like that but I also know she probably just wants to be held and if I get in the backseat but don’t hold her that won’t help anything.

“What the hell are we going to do about Dell?”

“What can we do? If you confront her she’ll just deny it and if she did do it, it’s shitty but it’s not illegal.”

“But she needs to knock that shit off. Out of respect for what you and I meant to Jake.”

“I agree.”

“We’ll give it a week or so, but I think we should go see Channing while we’re here.”

“We could do that.”

“All I can think is that Jake would be so disappointed in her,” he says.

“Jake would be fucking furious,” I correct.

“Yeah he would. And what really fucking pisses me off is that as much as I’m angry at her, I’m also worried for her.”

“Why are you worried?”

“Because she’s obviously not moving on,” he says. “That’s not the Dell I knew and loved.”

“I suppose having your child murdered in cold blood will do that to a person.”

“But it doesn’t excuse the things she’s doing. I can’t imagine what this is doing to Channing.”

“She’s not making things any easier, that’s for sure,” I sigh. Ella’s still crying in the back and I’m tempted to tell Eric to pull over, but I don’t.

“I just hope she gets the help she needs. Therapy isn’t a bad thing anymore.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry she lost her son. Being a mom now I can understand how painful it must be for her, but she can’t keep going like this. Jake wouldn’t want her to.”

“And she needs to realize that.”

“Hopefully she will.”

We pull up to the house about twenty minutes later and as soon as we park I’m out of my seat and going to the back to get Ella. She’s all red and pissed off. Miraculously, the second I pick her up she stops crying. I knew it.

“You are so spoiled, little girl,” I say as I get my purse from the front seat so I can go unlock the front door.

Eric gets the luggage before following me in.

“Oh. My. God.” I stop when I see the Christmas tree already set up in its stand in the living room.

“Surprise,” Eric says from behind me.

“You did this?” I turn to face him.

“With a little help, but yes.”

I smile at him and then tilt my head up for a kiss. “You know, when you do something right it’s scary right. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiles back. “This also means that the house has been aired out, and that your mother was kind enough to pick us up some grocery essentials. So we’re pretty much free to relax today.”

“Except our baby needs a place to sleep. Dad’s dresser drawer idea isn’t going to work.”

“I think you need to look in the guest room,” he says with a smile.

“Which one? The one down here or the one upstairs?”

“Upstairs.”

“Ooookay.” I turn and head for the stairs with Eric following behind me.

I go to the guest room and open the door to find it decorated for Ella with a ballerina motif. There’s even a ballet bar installed along one wall for when she’s older. There’s a crib, changing table, glider, toy box and when I open the closet there is clean clothing hanging up.

“Oh my… how did you…” I can’t even finish my sentence. It’s perfect. There isn’t too much pink but it’s definitely a feminine room.

“This one was your mom’s idea,” he says. “I just sent her the money.”

“This is beautiful,” I say and try not to cry.

When I look a little closer I see a collection of little tutus and it makes me laugh.

“Looks like Ella is ready for her first ballet class,” I say as I pick up a pair of tiny ballet shoes.

“Your mom picked the theme,” he smiles. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.” I go over and give him a hug.

“I’m so happy you’re not mad,” he says.

“Why would I be mad?”

“Not having a say in your daughter’s room.”

“No, this is great. Mom picked perfectly.”

“Awesome.”

I’d put Ella down but I know she’d just start screaming again. Besides, it’s about time for her to eat anyway. Eric, Ella and I go back downstairs and I get comfortable on the couch to feed her while Eric takes the bags upstairs. I’ll unpack after Ella finishes eating.

EPOV

The first night back we don’t do much of anything. Sookie calls her mom to thank her for the nursery, and we plan to go to their house for dinner tomorrow so Corbett can finally meet Ella. For tonight though, we just have a little supper and relax with some TV.

I put Ella on the floor with her head under the lit up Christmas tree, and she loves it. It’s hilarious to watch her.

“You should get video of this,” I tell Sookie.

“Yeah we should,” she agrees and gets out her cell phone.

“It’s so crazy to see things like she’s seeing them,” I say.

“I think it’s all the flashing lights,” Sookie says and wiggles some of the branches. Ella’s arms and legs go nuts and she gurgles and smiles up at them.

I laugh and sit back just to watch. Last Christmas I was here with Jake. We were sitting in this very room when he told me about the problems they were having conceiving. I remember telling him that it’ll happen if it’s meant to, and then jokingly trying to convince him that it was a sign that he should be in L.A. with me, whoring it up.

So freaking much has changed since then. I’ve tried so much to accept that maybe this is all just destiny, but there’s always that little thought at the back of my head that it wasn’t fair for Jake to have to die just so Sookie and I could have a baby and fall in love. Or maybe there was a bigger reason for it, and my relationship with Sookie is just a side effect of it. I hope that’s the case.

There are still times like now when I’m watching Ella that I feel guilty. I feel like I stepped into the life Jake wanted, with the person he wanted. It’s not necessarily the way he would have wanted it since he was never much for the spotlight, but it’s still a family. It just makes me so sad, like I somehow took it from him.

I don’t even realize that I have tears on my face until Sookie asks me what’s wrong. I wipe my face with my hands like I think it’ll make her unsee them.

“It’s just… he would have been a great dad, you know?” I say.

“He would have, but you’re doing pretty great,” she says and reaches for my hand. “He’d be proud of you for stepping up like you have.”

“I don’t regret any of it. Not for a second,” I say. I can’t regret anything that gave me Ella. “But I still feel guilty at times. Do you ever wish you could have just one more day with him? One more conversation?”

“Sure,” she says and rests her head on my shoulder. “But the conversation would be very different now than I would have thought even six months ago.”

She’s right about that. Six months ago we didn’t have Ella yet, and I was still a little fucked up over everything. Having a kid changes so much.

“I think I just want to know if he’s okay with all of this. With how everything turned out.”

“I think he is. We’ve helped each other get through something extremely difficult. We’ve stopped hating each other. We brought a pretty awesome new little person into the world. A lot has changed, but all for good.”

“Yeah,” I nod. “And more importantly, the new person we made is pretty freaking cute.”

“She’s the cutest thing ever. That’s not even bias, just fact.”

“We’re awesome parents.”

“I think so.”

“I’m sorry for that,” I sigh. “I think about shit too much sometimes.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I get it,” she says and kisses my neck.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she says.

I chuckle and say, “It’s hard to remember a time when I hated you.”

“Think back to a year ago when you tried to talk Jake into leaving me to go chase skirts with you instead,” she says.

“Yes but now I see the error of my ways,” I say. “And Jake always turned me down. He insisted that he knew being with you was better than chasing skirts any day, and I know he was right now.”

“I know you do. And I also know that someday our daughter will get involved with a guy just like you used to be,” Sookie predicts.

“And I’ll kick his ass for being near her.”

“That’s called karma kicking your ass, buddy.”

“But she’s the one whose heart is going to be broken,” I say.

“Yeah, but you’ll get to see the pain you caused others,” she explains.

“All of those girls knew what they were getting into.”

“Doesn’t mean some of them weren’t hurt.”

“I guess. I’m not planning on doing that again though.”

“You better not,” she says and tickles my side. “I would be forced to go online and tell everyone you have issues with premature ejaculation.”

“One time does not equal issues, Sookie,” I say, narrowing my eyes at her.

“But after a bad breakup that doesn’t really matter, now does it?”

“Yes, it completely matters if it’s a lie.”

Sookie lifts her head and says, “It’s sweet that you still think anyone cares about the truth in L.A.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to never break up with you.”

“That sounds like a great plan.”

Sookie crawls over to Ella and picks her up.

“It’s bath time for you, missy,” she says and kisses Ella’s cheek before getting up off the floor.

“Want some dessert?” I ask.

“Sure.”

“Ice cream okay? I’ll put whipped cream and sprinkles on it.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I’m on it,” I say, and get up to head to the kitchen.

xXx

The next evening we head over to Corbett and Michelle’s house for dinner. Sookie is excited to see her dad, and I’m pretty jazzed about him meeting Ella. He can’t hate me once he sees how cute my kid is, right?

When we get there I grab the carseat, and we head to the front door. Sookie rings the doorbell and then bounces a little on the spot. Out of being cold or excitement, I don’t know.

The door opens after a moment and Michelle smiles when she sees us.

“Come in, come in!” she says. “Get that baby out of the cold.”

As soon as we’re inside with the door shut, she gives Sookie a hug. I take my coat off and hang it up, then work on getting Ella out of the car seat. She’s awake and wide-eyed, and she napped not long ago so she’s in a good mood.

“Oh gimme that baby!” Michelle says excitedly as she takes her from me. “She got so big!”

“She takes after me,” I grin.

“She’s going to be wearing six month size clothes soon at this rate. Do they make Big and Tall for babies?” Sookie asks.

Corbett comes in from the kitchen and goes straight to Michelle to get a look at Ella.

“You’re even prettier than your mama,” he says to his granddaughter.

“Told you,” I smile at Sookie. “She looks just like you.”

“She does not!” Sookie argues. “She looks like you.”

“She’s a good mix,” Michelle says.

“She’s got her mama’s eyes and that right there’ll be her daddy’s undoing,” Corbett says like he knows from experience.

“I have a feeling you’re right about that,” I say.

“Here, Corbett,” Michelle says, and hands him Ella.

He settles her in his arms and says, “Well aren’t you a heavy sack of taters?”

Ella looks up at him curiously, but when Sookie reaches to squeeze her chubby thigh, Ella grins like there’s a camera pointed at her.

“Eric, while you’re in town we’ll see a man about a gun for when this one’s older,” Corbett says without looking up from Ella.

“That’s not a bad idea,” I smile.

“Oh stop it,” Sookie says with a roll of her eyes. “That shotgun horseshit never worked when Dad did it and it definitely won’t work if you try it.”

“Then I’ll pay them off to stay away,” I say. “Actually, that’s a great idea. We can weed them out. The guys that refuse the money are worthy.”

Sookie shakes her head in disbelief and follows Michelle to the kitchen to help her finish with dinner.

“I think it’s a good plan,” Corbett says.

“Me too,” I grin. “She’s pretty great, huh?”

“Perfect.”

“I’m glad we made it out here so you could meet her.”

“So am I.”

“So what’s Michelle making for dinner?” I ask.

“Sookie’s favorite,” he says and heads for the living room.

“What’s her favorite?” I ask as I follow him.

“You don’t know?” Corbett lifts an eyebrow and sits in one of the chairs.

“I guess I’ve never asked,” I say. “We’re still learning a lot about each other.”

“Hmph…” he snorts and shifts Ella so she’s looking at him. “It’s chicken pot pie with extra carrots and homemade biscuits.”

“She’s never made that back home,” I say.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not her favorite,” Corbett says almost hostilely.

“I know, I just meant… I’m going to go see if they need any help in the kitchen.”

Corbett eyeballs me as I leave the room but he lets me go.

“Your dad still hates me,” I whisper to Sookie when I get to the kitchen.

“He does not,” she says.

“I didn’t know chicken pot pie was your favorite meal,” I say. “He thinks we’re not good together.”

“What?” she laughs. “Eric, I think you’re overreacting.”

“He glared at me when I left the room,” I say. “He loves Ella, but he still completely hates my guts.”

She shakes her head and grabs my hand. “Come on, we’re going to straighten this out. He can’t kill you while he’s holding the baby.”

“What, no! He’ll know I came in here and tattled.”

“Oh stop it,” she says and drags me along behind her. When we get to the living room she bluntly asks, “Dad, do you hate Eric?”

Corbett looks up from Ella and says, “No.”

“Okay,” I nod and smile. “See? Everything’s cool.”

“I don’t like him much, and I definitely don’t trust him, but I don’t hate him,” Corbett clarifies.

“I see,” I say, deflating a little. I knew it already, but hearing it bluntly from him sucks.

“And why don’t you like him?” Sookie asks calmly.

“So far I don’t have much of a reason to,” Corbett shrugs. “He knocked up my baby girl and initially said she was trying to trap him,” he glares daggers at me for that, “And even if he took it back and has been doing what he’s supposed to do for this little miracle I’m holding I don’t know jack about him. What I remember is a little punk that treated my daughter badly and tried to talk her fiance into cheating on her for fun. I hope to God you’ve changed and that Sookie’s not just giving you a chance to break her heart because Ella deserves to have two parents.”

“Fair enough,” I say. “I’m just going to step outside and make a phone call.”

“You do that,” Corbett says.

I turn so he can’t see me roll my eyes, and head for the front door. I forget to put on my coat before I step outside, but I don’t want to go back in and get it so I just stand out there wondering how long I can do it before someone comes to get me.

I know all the things Corbett said are true, but he’s not the one that I owed an apology to for them. I’ve apologized to Sookie many times for my bullshit, and I like to believe that I’ve made it up to her. I plan to continue to make it up to her if she’ll let me. Corbett can dislike me all he wants for my behavior and there’s no changing that. The only thing that will change it is time, and it’s not like I can fast forward time.

The door opens and Corbett comes out with my coat.

“My daughter loves you so I’m willing to give you a chance. Just do me one favor,” he says.

“What’s that?” I ask as I hesitantly take my coat from him.

“Be the kind of man you would want your daughter to marry one day,” he says.

“I’m trying,” I say. “Sookie deserves the world, and I want her to be happy.”

“Then you’re on the right path,” Corbett says and turns for the door. “Oh, and your coat was ringing.”

Then he goes back inside.

“Fuck,” I mutter, and pull my phone out of my coat pocket. I have a missed call from Pam. I don’t bother listening to the voicemail and just call her back.

“How’s Uncle Brother, Louisiana?” she asks.

“Better than Los Angeles,” I say. “No paps here.”

“There are pictures of Ella on the internet. Remind Sookie that vertical stripes do nothing to flatter the figure.”

“Excuse me?”

“There. Are. Pictures. Of. Ella. On. The. Internet.”

“How? From when?”

“My guess is by cell phone from the airport yesterday.”

“Son of a fucking bitch,” I growl. “Have you emailed them to me yet?”

“Am I new?”

“Will you be releasing a statement?”

“Not unless you want me to. The pictures are grainy and it’s hard to tell whether the baby is a boy or a girl.”

“Alright,” I sigh. “Leave it alone for now. I need to get off here and go tell Sookie.”

“Next time dress that baby in Dior before you take her out uncovered.”

“Thank you, Pam,” I say, and hang up on her.

I go into my email to look at the pictures, and then go back inside. Sookie’s back in the kitchen with her mom. I go up to her and hand her my phone so she can see for herself.

“Oh crap,” she mutters.

“They’re shitty cell phone pictures, but it just proves that we’re not safe anywhere.”

“We knew this was going to happen eventually,” Sookie sighs.

“What happened?” Michelle asks.

“Someone at the airport took pictures of us and posted them online,” Sookie says.

“What?! That’s so… rude!”

“Actually we’re lucky,” Sookie says and shows Michelle the pictures.

“Pam said you really can’t tell if she’s a boy or a girl, and she told me to tell you something about the clothes you’re wearing, but I won’t repeat it.”

Sookie quirks an eyebrow at that and then says, “Pam can bite me.”

“She’d probably be happy to,” I smirk.

“Is Pam one of those lesbians?” Michelle asks.

“I think she’s a special breed of lesbian,” Sookie smirks.

“She doesn’t sound very nice if she’s commenting on your clothes,” she says.

“She’s a paid pit bull.”

“And Sookie ignores her fashion comments. Pam also told us we need to make sure Ella is wearing designer clothes if she’s going to be seen.”

“Horseshit,” Sookie says.

“I ignored her.”

“Good.”

“So you’re not mad about these pictures?” I ask.

“Not really,” Sookie shrugs.

“I thought you’d be really angry.”

“I’m not happy, but I know we can’t keep her a secret forever and those pictures only confirm we have a baby.”

“I guess the most infuriating thing is that someone here took the picture and sent it in this fast. Assholes.”

“It could be worse.”

“Yeah, it could,” I agree, and put my phone away. “In other news, dinner smells delicious.”

“Well thank you,” Michelle smiles.

“It’s almost ready,” Sookie says.

“I’ll go wash my hands then” I say.

“Check Ella’s diaper for me, will you?”

“Yes ma’am,” I smile, and make a detour through the living room on my way.

 

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